Often in life we are always searching for something to ‘complete’ us… We feel an emptiness within us and we seek to make it full with money, fame, distraction, or dopamine dot com… And just when we think we have it figured out and we’ve fixed the void, the empty feeling is still there staring at us in the face.
Often when this happens (and I used to always indulge this method) we run from the truth. I was so scared to find out why I had this emptiness within me, but I never dared to look at it and understand why it existed. Why does the emptiness exist?
We all have things about ourselves we don’t like, and we typically reject those things. I like to call these aspects of ourselves the shadow. In this day and age a lot of people are saying everything is love and light, and if you love (forcing love down people’s throats / our own throats) then this void can be fixed… Unfortunately it is not this simple.
In order to be whole we must not love these shadow parts of ourselves (at least not initially), but rather we must ask, “why do you exist?”… Not as a means to judge this part of us as good and bad, for nothing is truly good or bad. Good and Bad are just labels we put on things we like and don’t like, but they are generally one in the same. Opposite polarities. At one pole you have good, and the other is bad. We act as if these are completely separate, and yet they are simply polar opposites of the same thing.
Why do I bring up this good and bad? Because the parts of us we like to runaway from we call ‘bad’. We don’t like that they’re there and we want them to go away. Sometimes we try to make them go away by running or other times we force love upon them, but neither really works.
In order to become whole we must know and understand these parts of ourselves and why they exist. These parts of our being must be understand and accepted for what they currently exist as, and they must know its okay to be that way. This is how we become whole, and this is how we realize there has never actually been a void. There had just been the rejection of a part of us we labeled as ‘bad’ and told it that it couldn’t be… That it wasn’t okay to be that way.
Know this part of you, and get dirty with it. Dig deep to find the root, and sit with it for a long time. Literally meditate with it and understand how it feels inside of you. You fill the void by accepting that part of yourself as it is, and then you can finally love it. Then you love it and tell it that its okay, that its always been okay, and take whatever the learning opportunity/experience is that exists within that ‘formerly bad’ part of you. You’ve always been whole, accept yourself where you are right now and know that you are enough – right now. Not in the future, but right now.